


Jokes on Who?

by wellthatjusthappend



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Denial, Drinking, First Time, Insecurity, M/M, Masturbation, Not Underage, Voyeurism, age gap, background jaytim, not incesty, pinning, self discovery, sex-toys, under 21 dinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-06-05 06:48:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6693793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellthatjusthappend/pseuds/wellthatjusthappend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Damian knows Dick gave him the present as a joke. Something to fluster and tease him about. He probably expected Damain to throw it away angrily. He'd be technically correct… But only technically. And Damian is sure he never expected him to use it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Little story that was supposed to be a one-shot and got out of hand (and isn't that just the story of my life?) Anywho, I rather like DickDami so it's not that much of a tragedy. 
> 
> Enjoy

Now Damian is sure he's never told anyone when his birthday is. It had never mattered much with his mother. His age was of little consequence to him. In eyes of the league he was an adult the first time he was able to kill someone. He'd grown accustomed to the idea that once he was fully grown the Lazereth Pit would preserve him agelessly, therefore what was the point of keeping track of numbers?

But trust his father be concerned about his age and the greatest detective in the world to figure it out.

Every year he would receive a carefully wrapped practical present from his father and a note listing the things he was eligible to do in the eyes of society and a list of what he'd be responsible for in the night life. Alfred would prepare something he liked for dinner and Tim might offhandedly congratulate him on surviving to live another year. depending on Jason's relations with all of them that year- no, that _day_ \- he might get an annoying ruffle of his hair.

It was Dick who was the most exhausting about the subject.

The older boy's gifts had a tendency to be over the top and somewhat ridiculous. As Dick got to know him better they started to come in pairs. One that would purposefully irritate him and another that he'd actually enjoy.

Dick might be exasperating but he was also Damian’s favorite and his presents secretly made him happy. Even the stupid ones. Dick probably thought he threw them away. Damian saw no point in correcting this impression.

Then came his 18th birthday.

Damian came back from patrol in a bit of foul mood. His father had asked him he had wanted the night off. Hah. As if. Still there was something to be said about a patrol in pouring rain being miserable for all those involved.

He’d actually thought about how he'd missed being partnered to Dick. Even the cowl hadn't completely robbed the young man of his playful nature. Neither could the rain.

He'd showered and dressed for bed distractedly. None of his night clothes actually belonged to him. He wore a pair of yoga pants he'd stolen from Drake, mostly to irritate him, but kept them when he discovered they were quite comfortable. The shirt was one of Dick’s. When he was younger it had felt a little comforting to wear something that smelled like someone he'd come to associate with safety. When he got older his reasons had… Hmm… Shifted a bit. But he did his best not to think about it too deeply.

When Damian returned to his room he found two presents sitting on his bed. Late as usual. Terribly wrapped and covered in bows.

Damian tried to ignore the fact that he was smiling.

_Happy Birthday Little D! Baby Bat is all grown up!! Thought you might like these, have fun ;)_

Setting aside the little note, Damian reached for the first gift. Inside he found a set of new paints, brushes, and canvases. Damian frowned at the cabinet where he kept his supplies. He hadn't mentioned to anyone that he was running low, but of course Dick would find out. These were his favorite brand too.

With significantly more caution, Damian reached for the second present.

It took a second to understand realize what he was looking at once he'd got it open. Or rather, he knew what he was looking at, but it took a moment to accept that, yes, Dick had given him a set of high quality sex toy’s.

Damian threw them viciously into the trash, his face flushed deeply under his dark complexion.

A few hours later he retrieved them when he found he couldn't sleep.

He laid them all out and tried to figure out what each one was even supposed to _do._ Turned them over. Got embarrassed all over again and threw them back into the bin.

Damian glowered at his ceiling when he'd flopped back onto his bed. Why on earth had Dick given him sex toys? _How_ had Dick decided to get him these particular toys? Had he just walked into a store and picked several out randomly? But no, those were all very nice… Maybe he'd just grabbed the most generic? Or had he… Actually tried to figure out what Damian might _enjoy_ best based on how well he knew him?

_Thought you might like these_

Damian felt his breath hitch slightly and his pants start to feel a little uncomfortable.

He got up and took the toys back out of the trash again and hid them in the false back of the bookshelf behind his textbooks. Then he got back into bed and tried to ignore everything.

* * *

 

The coming weeks offered Damian a little more perspective on the the matter. The second gift wasn't all that weird considering all the other odd things Dick had given him over the years. Damian still remembered the waxing kit he'd been given for his 15th birthday (along with with a set of superb throwing knifes) because apparently “I know you don't wear the panties but Robins gotta have nice legs still ;D plus bandages are a bitch when they dry to your leg hair” and he'd actually tried it. He hated waxing, but Dick had been right about the hair thing so Damian had taken up shaving. And, though he'd never tell, he liked the feeling of his skin better when it was all smooth.

The only reason this one really flustered him was, well…

“Little D.” Sang Dick wrapping him in a hug from behind and lifting him off his feet.

“Grayson, unhand me.” Damian growled, trying not to relax into the touch. Dick smelled good. A little like soap with the slightest musky undertone. By contrast his breath was extremely sweet where it fanned against Damian’s cheek as Dick laughed. Damian idly wondered what it would taste like to-

He cut that line of thought short.

“What are you doing here?” Damian tried to grumble as he was set back to his feet and turned to face him. Standing so close it was clear that they were almost the same height. So close it was a little hard to ignore how long Dick's eyelashes were or how fondly he was looking at him. So close he had to carefully _keep_ his gaze on Dick's eyes and nowhere else.

Because so close Damian might give himself away.

“I can't come visit my favorite Robin?” Asked Dick with an infectious smile. A small rush of pleasure ran through him.

“Drake and Brown will be heartbroken.” Said Damian shifting back. Better not to test his control.

_Jason might be pissed as well, though he'd never show it._

“Ah but you forget, they were only Robins. _You're_ the only one who's been _my Robin_.” Dick grinned poking Damian's forehead.

Damian had to look away at that. He wasn't sure he wanted Dick to see whatever was in his eyes at that moment.

“You're hair is getting a little long.” Commented Dick suddenly reaching over to run his fingers through it. Damian struggled not to lean into the touch, but he couldn't quite manage to shake him off either.

“I've been busy. I'll trim it soon.” Said Damian glancing up into the fringe that almost fell into his eyes now. He usually kept trimmed close to his head for practical reasons. Less chance of someone grabbing it when he was in a fight or needing to really do anything to it to look presentable in the morning.

“Shame.” Murmured Dick, and did he realize he was still running his fingers through his hair? “I kind of like it long. It looks good on you.”

Damian paused. Dick thought-?

“Anywho,” said Dick suddenly dropping his hand and clapping them together with a slight waggle of his eyebrows, “I've been meaning to ask, how'd you like your birthday present?”

Damian glowered at him to cover how embarrassed he was and turned away.

“Kidding! Kidding! You know I am. But hey, you _are_ legal now, how do I know what you want to get up to-”

“Grayson…” Damian warned.

“I am dropping it don't worry.” Laughed Dick raising his hands in defeat, “but seriously though, were those the right kind of art supplies? I thought I remembered you using something like that once-”

“They're perfect.” Damian interrupted softly, “thank you.”

Dick gave him a smile that was so soft and affectionate that-

“Ah, that's good then.” Dick said, “have you gotten to try them out?”

“I…” Damian hesitated, “a little.”

“Oh great!” Said Dick lighting up a bit, “am I allowed to see?”

“If- if you like…” Said Damian hesitantly.

“Always, little D.” Said Dick throwing an arm around his shoulders.

* * *

 

Later that night finds Damian staring at his sheets, especially the indent where Dick had sprawled flipping through his sketchbooks with bright eyed attentiveness. In some ways, letting Dick spread out and see his art, see reflections of what was inside him, felt far more intimate than stripping down naked would be. Especially because they'd seen each other sans clothes often enough that it didn't bear mentioning. This was different. This was-

Damian reached out and touch the spot on his sheets. Carefully climbed onto that spot as best as he could. Imagined he could still smell him. Pretended that he didn't notice himself growing hard. Turned his face to to the fabric to better breathe it in. Felt his hair tickle his face.

_It looks good on you_

Maybe he'd just trim it enough that it didn't get in his eyes. Even if he'd have to make sure nobody got close enough to grab it-

He imagined Dick running his fingers through his hair like before, this time though tangling and grasping and using it as leverage to tug Damian's head back, exposing Damian's neck to Dick's warm breath-

_My Robin_

Damian's whole body gave a twitch.

Cursing he went to go take a cold shower.

He'd had a bit of a crush on Dick for a long time. Had a deep affection for him for even longer. But he was fully aware that developing an actual adult interest in him was out of the question.

Dick wasn't _obscenely_ older than him. He knew plenty of happy couples with even bigger age gaps. It wasn't all that bad or unusual. Though he doubted Dick would agree... though he seemed perfectly aware that Damain was an adult- especially given the sex toys- Damain still imagined he would bulk at the idea of being in any kind of relationship with him.

And the fact that Bruce would probably get grey hairs if he realized Damian thought of his first Robin that way. Though Damian was loath to admit it, his father's opinion of him felt vitally important. He knew it was something of the same for Dick.

But more than either of those things, was the fact that Damian didn't like his feelings for Dick. He didn't like the feeling of… Not being in control of himself. Of being overwhelmed. And these emotions, these sensations Dick could invoke in him with just a smile...

Damian hissed as he stepped under icy cold water.

He would not allow them


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really am so out of my depth with this story... but I guess that's kind of the point.

“You get lost baby bat?” came a sing song voice startling Damian out of his thoughts as he sat on a gargoyle overlooking the city. He ignored the way the he was suddenly hyper aware of the blood pounding through him and glanced over to see Dick swing onto the ledge near him.

“Nightwing, what are you doing here?” Damian scowled instead. 

“Well hello to you too. Missed you. I’ve been doing fine, thanks for asking.” Dick said and Damian could practically hear the eyeroll in the other’s voice as he came to lean on the gargoyle and peer at the city as well. Damian wanted to ask if Dick had really missed him. But he didn’t.

“If you’re just going to chit chat-” Damian began standing up, because really, Dick wasn’t particularly good for his focus these days and that was unacceptable on patrol. 

“Hey stay a while,” Dick said catching his hand and pulling him down onto the ledge with him instead, “I am tracking down a gang that is based in Gotham but is pumping Budheaven full of drugs these day. I could use your help, if you’re not busy that is.”

As if Damian had ever been successful in denying him with more than words.

“Tt, fill me in as we go.” Damian conceded, yanking his hand away from Dick under the pretense of opening a channel back up for Nightwing on his comm-link. 

The smile Dick gave in response made Damian’s chest ache painfully.

“Alright Robin, I think it’s time for us to hit some warehouses.” Dick beamed, clasping his shoulder for one moment and then jumping off the building. Damian scoffed when it took him a moment to fire a line. He caught himself reaching up to touch the spot Dick had grasped him and clenched his fists instead before firing his own grapple gun and following.

Damian hadn’t forgotten the ease with which he and Dick worked together. The efficacy. The thrill. But he still found himself reveling in it. The sheer rush that came from having someone that you trusted unquestionably at you back. Someone who wasn’t waiting for him to trip up or cross some line. 

“Looking good Robin.” Dick said appreciatively as Damian knocked two of the guards to the warehouse out with a single twisting kick. Damian wished he wasn’t so susceptible to praise but… Just hearing Dick voice that his approval was like a shot of ecstasy right through his veins. 

“More will be here soon.” Damian said straightening up and leading the way through the side door. 

“And we’ll be ready for them,” said Dick flashing a grin reminiscent of his robin days and twirling a escrima stick through his fingers.

Damian was reminded that though underneath they might be the same person, fighting with Dick as Nightwing was a very different thing from fighting with Dick as Batman.

A yell came from somewhere behind them. The knocked out guards must have been discovered. Bruce would have probably lectured them for being sloppy. Dick winced slightly but laughed silently at whatever accusatory face Damian was making. With a delicate quirk of a blue striped finger Dick beckoned Damian over before wrapping an arm around his waist and shooting out a line.

“Time to sit tight.” whispered Dick letting them drop on top of some crates over looking the rest of the warehouse. Damian noticed that Dick hadn’t completely removed the hand resting loosely on his waist. He wondered if he remained focused on the mission at hand, how long Dick would leave it there.

This is why the attraction was problematic. He was going to mess things up just because he was distracted by melting over his friend and mentor like a hormonal teenager. Damian took a long steadying breath and bit his lip. Dick glanced at him curiously but Damian kept his gaze resolutely forward. It'd been too long now. It wouldn't be casual. It'd be obvious and draw Dick's attention-

Damian shrugged off Dick's arm. 

“Dami-” Dick began, a note of curiosity and a sliver of concern in his voice. Damian tensed. He felt like anything Dick asked, anything he answered, would either be hurtful or incriminating or both. To his relief Dick pursed his lips and shook his head, “we’ll talk later.”

Damian merely tsked softly and focused back in on the deal going on below. Maybe Dick would manage to pin him down later, but in Damian's experience “later” usually meant “never”.

And that was perfectly fine.

* * *

Trust Grayson to make Damian's mission of becoming less fixated next to impossible. 

“I'm staying at my flat in Gothem till this blows over.” Dick said conversationally as they watched the police clean up the neatly tied up thugs and drugs they'd left for them. Nightwing was sitting next to Damian kicking his heels as he dabbed at a knife wound on his shoulder.

“Lovely.” Said Damian darkly. Dick being in town meant he'd see him more. Dick would want to spend lots of time with him. It would be that much more difficult to not fall- to not get distracted.

“It is. And you know, I was thinking, it's kind of lonely up there all on my own.” Continued Dick ‘ _ no’  _ thought Damian in- horror? Excitement? He couldn't tell, “you wanna come stay with me till this case is over?”

“I can't.” It tumbled out sharp. Abrasive. Damian was terrified. Angry. That was far more truthful than he wanted to be. 

“Why not? You haven't started the college year yet, you're not working, and you have no cases on right now. C’mon babybat, we can get vegetarian pizza and watch documentaries all day… Go fly around at night together like old times.” Dick coaxed. 

“Your apartment is shit.” Damian countered crossing his arms.

“It's not so bad. It's even clean.” Dick said looking mildly offended. 

“For now.” Snorted Damian. 

“I already cleared it with Bruce.” Dick tried for another tactic. Damian narrowed his eyes. That was playing  _ dirty. _

“You can not cook. I refuse to eat take-out until whenever the hell this case is over.” Damian said firmly. 

“Hey, I won't let you starve.” Complained Dick, when Damian gave him a skeptical look Dick playfully kicked at him, “tell you what little D, you come stay with me and I will spoil you rotten.”

That sounded beyond wonderful. 

“Wait, you know what? Don't answer right now. Come back with me  _ tonight _ and then tomorrow you can choose.” Dick cut across before he could say anything.

“And if I say no?” Damian asked narrowing his eyes.

“Then you'll be heading back to the cave in daylight I guess. It's almost dawn and we're pretty far out.” Said Dick innocently.

“Fuck you Grayson.” Muttered Damian quiet enough that no one would hear him break protocol. But damn it Dick must have planned this. 

Dick laughed and leaped off the building and heading to one of the apartments he owned under a false name. 

After a second more of cursing, Damian followed. 

* * *

“Go ahead and put your suit in the back. I'll get you some fresh clothes in a sec.” Said Dick resetting the alarms and immediately began stripping off his suit. It was a little mesmerizing to watch black and blue cloth bunch and crumple and reveal scar ridden tan skin moving over defined muscles. Damian had to look away when Dick stretched with his arms over his head and let out a sound that wouldn't be out of place in a porno. 

“I am not putting on clean clothes without showering first.” Damian grumbled, trying to ignore the sound of Dick's belt and pants hitting the floor. Focusing on disarming the traps on his suits was much better. 

“Down the hall to the left. Ah, but first could you help me with something?” Asked Dick.

“What?” Asked Damian flatly. Heavens save him, Dick had decided to just stand there in his boxers trying to look at his shoulder.

“I think this is going to need a few stitches. Would you mind?” Dick asked poking at the cut which was already trickling down his arm again. 

“How exactly have you not bled out on your floor Grayson?” Muttered Damian obliging him and pulling out his medical kit. 

“Ah, you don't give me enough credit babybat- ouch! Easy with that needle! Crooks don't get close enough to cut most of the time.” Said Dick wincing as Damian held him still with one hand and started stitching with the other. 

“It's a wonder you lovers never notice.” Damian commented ignoring him, “they must be real idiots.”

“Hey! The people I date are all wonderful.” Dick said defensively. 

“Hah.” Damian curled his lip in distaste. Though honestly the chances of Dick dating someone he approved of seemed less than 0%, “And why don't one of those  _ wonderful  _ people come keep you company?”

“I haven't been seeing anyone in a while.” Dick half shrugged, and if Damian clipped the ends of the last stitch a little vehemently then who was counting? 

“I am sure you could find someone.” Muttered Damian.

“Yeah? So? I didn't want just  _ someone, _ I wanted  _ you. _ ” Frowned Dick.

Damian felt like he couldn't breathe. Stuff like this was exactly why it was a bad idea for him to stay. He stiffly turned away but Dick grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

Gods save him, Dick's eyes were so  _ blue. _

“Do you really not want to spend time with me that much?” Dick asked, his voice that careful sort of calm that Damian knew was meant to cover up hurt. 

“No! I just-” Damian hissed through his teeth in frustration. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to hurt Dick but he didn't know what else would keep him at arms length. Even now, Dick pulled him a bit closer, reached forward to push Damian's hair back gently to see his face better. 

Damian wondered if this was how Dick might touch a lover.

“Dami. Dami, c’mon babybat tell me what's going on in that head of yours.” Dick said looking troubled, “you've been on edge all night. Long before I asked you to come stay with me.”

“I didn't come here to because I wanted to be interrogated.” Damian said darkly, though a part of him relished the fact that to have noticed that, Dick must have been paying attention to him- thinking about him- all night. 

“So why  _ did  _ you come? You and I both know that the dawn would never stop you if you didn't want to come.” Dick pointed out.

“Just…” Damian huffed. He let his gaze drop a realized one of his hands was resting on Dick's thigh. There were faint veins there, barely visible, and Damian wanted to trace them. Maybe with his mouth. He wondered what Dick would say to that. What sounds he might make-

“Dami?”

“It's nothing to worry about. It'll pass.” Damian muttered pulling away, “you said you had some clean clothes for me to change into after my shower?”

“...yes, I do. Bottom drawer by the bed.” Dick sighed after a searching pause. Damian nodded in acknowledgment and moved away. 

In Dick's room he knelt by the bed and dug through soft shirts and pants for something that wouldn't make him look redicilous. This was getting out of hand. He needed to kick this stupid attraction thing before it wrecked one of the few truly positive relationships in his life. It couldn't be that difficult. He just would have to tell himself more  _ firmly  _ that he really didn't want-

He caught sight of a weird looking strap peeking out from under the bed. Damian had a feeling he'd regret investigating this, but he was a bat at heart and it was difficult not to snoop a little…. He frowned at the mess of straps dangling from his hand. It was a… Harness of some sort. There was a lot of unnecessary loops and hooks in it and he wondered what Dick could use this impractical-

Damian suddenly felt himself flushing violently dropping the harness as he realized just what kind of spread position this was supposed to hold someone in and what it's most probable utility was. He kicked the thing back under the bed and grabbed his clothes and headed to the shower. 

_ “Fuck.”  _ Damian breathed as he kicked off his costume. That wasn't just some joke present, that was the real deal. The straps had been worn and softened out along the edges: this was something Dick had  _ used, _ “fuckfuckfuck!”

He couldn't even be horrified at the severe reduction of his vocabulary, Damian just climbed into the shower as if that would wash away the images that discovery had implanted in his brain. 

Damian leaned on the tile, tried to catalogue the way his hair was being flattened by the water and stuck to his neck and forehead. Instead in his head he was seeing Dick- flexible, beautiful, Dick who cared about him- bare, bent, and bound by the harness… He'd still be laughing breathlessly even in a position like that, Damian thought. Desperate and wanting, he'd look so- Damian choked on a sound that sounded like a pained sob as he started stroking himself fast and rough to the images in his head.

Shameful. He felt shameful, but he couldn't stop. 

He suddenly wondered if Dick had a preference: being tied up or tying up his partners. Damian wasn't as flexible as the first Robin, being held open like that would stretch his muscles to the point of discomfort. Make them burn. While the rest of him burned for Dick to touch him. For the elder to pick up the control Damian had given up to make the youngest Robin feel  _ amazing. _

“Grayson…” Damian whispered softly as he came all over himself. He composed himself leaning against the wall, refusing to watch the evidence of what he'd just done wash down the drain. 

Because the knowledge that Dick would probably rather take off in a rocket and never come back before he would ever think of tying Damian up and fucking him was suddenly not enough. Had never been enough to stop him wanting. And he  _ wanted  _ so  _ much _ . 

And he was beginning to suspect that want was here to stay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got several chapters lined up for this one so I think I'll a few once a week updates. No idea how long that will last, but at least a while longer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's more than one shift that happens in this chapter. See if you can spot them

_ Damian arched as Dick smoothed a hand down his back and tilted his hips upward to better lick at him. Damian felt hot and sweaty and he wanted Dick's hands everywhere. Wanted them to stoke him, cherish him, hold him up even as Damian fell apart.  _

_ “Grayson, Grayson, please!” He begged. There was no shame, he felt so good, Dick was making him feel so good…. But he needed  _ something.  _ Something more, but he didn't know what.  _

_ “Dami, Dami, you look so good for me. So perfect, I love you Dami.” Dick whispered into his skin, kissing up his stomach and then back down. Damian felt drunk on the sensations, on the praise. His head was pounding as need seemed to suffocate him so much he could barely see. Dick was holding him down so he couldn't buck up, still telling him over and over again how much he loved him.  _

_ “ _ Richard _ …” Damian whispered as he came, warmth spreading in a way that felt a bit uncomfortable even as Damian felt high in pleasure. Tried to hold onto the feeling, to- _

**Crash***

Damian jerked awake to the sound of something shattering loudly in the other room followed by a long string of colorful cursing. It took a moment of looking around his surroundings to remember that he had fallen asleep on Dick's couch the previous night. 

“What did you break?” He called sleepily. A little irritated at being woken up. It  _ had  _ been a good dream after all. 

“Fuck, sorry to wake you up little D. Just dropped my coffee cup. Probably don't come in here with bare feet till I clean it all up.” Dick called back. Damian grunted in reply. He kind of wanted to fall back asleep, it was still pretty early and he'd been up past dawn with Dick, but unfortunately the inside of his sweats were gross and sticky. 

Quietly thanking whatever powers that be for the fact that Dick was properly preoccupied in the kitchen, Damian made a quick dash to the bathroom. Cleaning the sweats and boxers up as best as he could with a hella lot of tissues and a damp rag he bunched the clothes up and snuck into Dick's room stuffing them at the bottom of Dick's sizable laundry pile. He kelt down next to the bed again and began digging through the clean clothes, this time very carefully not looking under the bed. 

“Dami-? Fuck, sorry!” Squawked Dick accidentally coming in. 

“What do you need Grayson?” Damian asked raising an eyebrow. Dick had seen him undressed plenty of time, and even still he was pretty sure the shirt he was wearing covered his ass. Yet Dick still looked a little flustered for some reason, pointedly not looking at him. 

“Just wanted to know if you wanted waffles for breakfast…” Dick said scratching his head. 

“You can make waffles?” Damian asked flatly in disbelief.

“Well, they're the frozen kind you stick in the toaster but they don't taste half bad.” Dick said defensively. 

“Hah, figures.”muttered Damian wrinkling his nose, “I suppose it's better than cereal.”

“Hey, cereal is a gift from god.” Dick protested. 

“Pretty sure the stuff you eat is 75% straight sugar.” Muttered Damian grabbing a pair of jeans and slipping them on. No underwear was a little uncomfortable but he wasn't about to wear a pair of Dick's, “it's a wonder your arteries haven't clogged up with all the unhealthy things you're always gorging yourself on.”

He turned to see Dick looking at him a little weirdly. Almost flushed, but is was hard to tell with Dick's darker skin. 

“You act as if I only eat junk food. I'll have you know I ate some lettuce yesterday.” Dick said, seeming to recover himself. 

“What a accomplishment.” Damian praised sarcastically, “that lettuce wouldn't happen to have been on a burger would it?”

“Shut your mouth.” Laughed Dick moving as if to throw and arm around him like he normally would but he seemed to change his mind suddenly and punched his arm playfully instead. Damian looked at him frowning but Dick just shrugged it off, “c’mon little prince, let's get you some food.”

* * *

 

Damian laid on his stomach on one of the lawns of the manor sketching. Titus was sniffing around nearby, occasionally bounding after birds. The huge old dog still seemed to believe he was a puppy some days. 

It ended up that he hadn't had to worry about turning down Dick's offer of staying with him because Jason was apparently also in town and working on the same case so the two had decided to work together. It seemed a bit sudden to Damian, especially because Dick and Jason's relationship was still a bit strained, but it meant he didn't need to hurt Dick in order to keep his distance so he was… Well not exactly happy- because a large part of him would have liked nothing better than to spend a week or two living with Dick- but relieved that events had worked in his favor. He supposed the fact that Jason didn't kill anymore, or at least not where any of the bats could see, meant that Dick could work with him again. 

Even if it had felt a little like Damian was suddenly being shoved firmly to the side. 

That feeling increased when Dick failed to visit the rest of the time while he was in Gothem or call in the months since. It almost felt like Dick was avoiding him, but he couldn't think why he would. 

He'd seen  _ Jason  _ more than he'd seen Dick lately. The Red Hood had been dropping in for this or that fairly regularly these days. Tim was always disgustingly obvious in his fixation of these visits. Primping and flushing in a way that had Jason grinning and Bruce looking deeply disturbed. 

Damian could honestly care less about those two’s obvious courtship dance. What bugged him was the other day Tim had noted aloud that Dick hadn't been around lately and Jason had just started laughing. When Damian had cut in and demanded to know what was so funny Jason had given him the biggest I-know-something-you-don't-know grin. 

“Don't get your panties in a twist, Golden Boy is just going through a bit of an emotional crisis right now.” Jason had said as if it was some sort of delightful inside joke. 

Damian gritted his teeth and had to force himself to ease up on his grip of his pencil or it would break. He'd thought he'd wanted some distance from Dick to get over his attraction and get back to the relationship he so cherished. But now he'd had the distance and he- he was hopelessly in love with the elder boy. He wanted him in whatever way he was allowed to have him. And if that meant maintaining a strictly platonic relationship he'd take that. He'd be happy. 

He just wanted Dick to  _ be  _ there. 

A part of him was afraid that the reason Dick was so distant was that he'd somehow figured Damian out and was revolted. He wasn't sure how that was possible, be he couldn't think of anything else. 

“Come on Titus.” Damian called gathering up his sketchbook and pencils. The great dane bounded to his heal and kept pace his tongue hanging out happily. Damian left the dog to lap up water noisily in the kitchen and headed upstairs. 

He was in a foul mood and he didn't want to talk to anybody except maybe Dick. Though with how he was feeling he'd probably say something he'd regret. Mostly it just irked him that Dick had trusted  _ Jason  _ more than  _ him _ when it came to confiding about whatever was going on.

A odd sort of sound was coming from one of the spare rooms Damian frowned and moved to investigate. The moment he peered inside though he froze. 

Jason had Tim up against the wall and they were kissing heavily. One of Tim’s legs was hitched around Jason's hips and one of Jason's hands was clearly at work between Tim’s legs. Whatever he was doing was making Tim let out the softest little sighs of pleasure and had him rocking into his hips. 

“Jay…” Pleaded Tim tipping his head back as Jason kissed and bit down his throat. 

“What do you want babybird?” Jason rumbled, deeper and more husky than Damian had ever heard it, “I'll give you anything.”

“You. You. I just want you.” Tim said reaching out for the others face. Jason leaned into the touch and kissed his palm, far more tender than Damian would have expected.

“You've got me babybird.” Jason said an unexpectedly soft smile on his face as he lowered Tim onto the floor, “anything else you'd like?”

“Tease.” Tim laughed breathlessly as he helped Jason start to pull off his clothes, “just hurry up and fuck me.”

Whatever had been holding Damian there suddenly snapped and he marched away from the explicit scene and resisted the urge to slam his door when he got to his room. He wasn't sure why he was so pissed off. Maybe because he'd always assumed Tim’s pinning to be as ultimately fruitless as his own. That he was angry that they got to be together but he and Dick were as firmly apart as ever. Humiliated that the sight had got him hot and bothered. 

Trying to ignore it, Damian went to stuff his sketchbook back into the shelf. It wouldn't slide back in properly and it took Damian a moment to realize that the false back of his bookshelf wasn't closed properly. He hadn't touched the sex toys Dick had given him since he’d first gotten them. It had felt like some kind of line. A point of no return he'd been afraid to cross. 

But right now he was feeling sad and angry and aroused and distinctly not in the mood to adhere to society's conventions of decency. He missed Dick and that was really what it came down to. 

Damian grabbed the first toy he touched and went and locked the door. He stripped out of all his clothes laid out on his back. His skin felt hyper sensitive and tingly from the idea of what he was doing. 

The toy he'd grabbed was a type of dildo that was like a stack of balls on a stick, each size increasing till it was a ball just a little smaller than a fist and then ending in a handle that had different vibration settings. Damian privately thought there was no way anyone could go down to the last ball, but that was just his opinion. 

He wasn't brave enough to go right for his ass, even if he knew that's what he really wanted to end up doing. He'd never tried stimulating himself anally and the idea was a little daunting. If Dick was here he'd try and go right for it because he'd be worried Dick wouldn't stay. He imagined Dick really was there and that he was showing him how well his body could open up, how perfectly he'd be able to take him if Dick would just touch him…

Damian bit his lip as his member fully hardened at his imagination. He took the toy and turned the vibration on to the lowest setting. He wasn't very adventurous at first. Just teased his body with sensation, stroked the toy delicately down his sides, teased the tips of his nipples. When that feeling made him squirm, he played with the vibration settings and experimented with pressing more firmly on the raised nubs. He couldn't decide if the feeling it brought was pleasure or not, but it made his body jolt, made his leg almost kick out involuntarily, made his breath hitch.

At first he thought he didn't like the sensation so he left them alone, but that left his nipples tingling with almost an itch. He dropped the toy in irritation and tried pinching, and pushing, and twisting at them hoping the rougher treatment would take down the sensitivity. All it did was make him want more but nothing he did was enough. 

He flipped onto his stomach and pressed his his chest against the sheets. The rubbing kind of helped, but it also rubbed his cock which was by now also quite desperate for attention. 

He picked up the toy again teased at his cock and balls. It was maddening. It was too much. It was not enough. He wished Dick was here because Damian was sure he would know just how to touch him. He'd know what it was Damian needed, and when he gave it to him it'd be so… Oh… 

Damian sat up a bit on his knees and teased at the strip of skin behind his balls. It felt so good but it also made his legs snap closed. Damian panted and frowned into the sheets. How was he even supposed to eventually get this thing inside him if he couldn't even keep his legs open?

A part of him was very glad Dick wasn't around to see his fumbling.

Another part though… Another part was sure that Dick would  _ like  _ seeing Damian like this, seeing him at the mercy of his body’s natural reactions… He felt certain that there was nothing else that would make Dick more hot and bothered.

“Grayson…”he whispered into the sheets, choosing to ignore the wetness of his eyes that was dampening the cloth against him. He reached around the other way and nudged at his hole. Damian whimpered at the feeling as his thighs flexed and clenched tightly closed. He pushed more firmly and the feel of his body opening to accept the first small section of the dildo and then automatically clenching down hard on the vibrating tip was enough to have him cumming with muffled yell. 

Damian lay limp and panting for a moment for the anxiousness of what he’d just done started clawing it’s way up his belly. Wincing, he pulled the tip of the toy out of himself and tried to ignore the slightly painful burn/drag. Lube would have made it better, but that would have required more forethought and planning and… and if it hadn’t been an impulsive decision riding off high hormones and agitation he wouldn’t have done it. 

He knew Dick had never intended the toys to be used by him. It would have crossed into the realm of things probably not appropriate to give as a present to someone you were not in a relationship with (or had a very particular type of friendship. He could see Dick and Wally West exchanging gifts like that. Though the though definitely pissed him off). Dick had given them to him months ago now but  _ still _ . It was crossing some unspoken line between them. And Damian was horrified to realize he wanted to cross it again and again chasing the fantasy of being with the older Robin. But he wouldn’t. Couldn’t. Every second this continued he was falling deeper and deeper into the ocean that was Dick Grayson and he was losing the will power to do anything else but drown himself in those sensation and thoughts and unconditional affection. Damian told himself he had to resist though. He would lock away the toys and never think of or use them again.

Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there's not as many actual interactions with people that happen in this one. Still hope you enjoyed it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time is passing rather quickly in these.   
> Things are starting to get a bit more honest.

Maybe the real joke, Damian decided, was that for him nothing Dick did or gave him was ever a joke. Even when he knew it was supposed to be. 

Even as almost a year had passed since Dick's last present. A month since he'd first dared to try out Dick's present and came harder than he ever had in his life... A thick sense of embarrassment had prevented him from touching the gifts since. But his 19th birthday was rolling around and Damian no longer knew if he was excited or terrified to see what Dick would get him this year. Or even just to see Dick.

It'd been two months since the man had dropped in to see him.

The excuse was a case. But Jason was working on the same thing and he still came around an obscene amount to see Tim and occasionally steal him away to fuck him silly. 

It made something hot and painful settle in his chest as it was obvious Dick was avoiding the Manor. A few ignored text messages made it obvious that he was specifically ignoring Damian. It made Damian want to slice up the dummies in the training room and curl up under his covers and never leave… It made him want to grab a bike and drive to find Dick and demand to know what he'd done wrong and how he could fix it.

Damian did none of those things.

Jason and Tim’s increasingly explicit romance didn't make things any easier. They were hardly subtle, so Damian had to conclude that his father and Alfred were willfully ignorant of this particular set up. For his part, Damian had accidentally walked in on them a number of times. They were probably more erotic then any porn he'd ever find and possibly more kinky too. Jason had actually noticed him once or twice and winked at him with a leer. 

Damian always snarled and stomped angrily afterwards and pretended he wasn't aroused with more and more ideas about the kinds of things he wished Dick would do to him or that he could do to Dick. 

Then came his birthday. 

It was the same as it always was except… 

Except Dick never came. 

He'd apparently sent a present to Alfred in the mail to be delivered to him. Just one. A beautiful sword inlaid with magic into the steal so it could cut through steal like butter and possibly meta humans too. Damian loved it. But he would have loved to see Dick more. The absence of a Joke present yelled things loudly that Damian didn't want to hear. 

_ I thought maybe we were getting a little too old for these jokes. _

That's what Dick's note had said. A note that was was crumpled in Damian's trash can and haunting his every thought. Dick was putting distance between them and despite the fact that Damian had been planning something similar a couple months previously it really hurt to be on the receiving side. He didn't want distance. He'd accepted that his feelings for the oldest Robin were here to stay but he also knew that he could never act on them. He knew that. Now he just wanted Dick... 

“Oi, demon spawn, you in?” Grunted Jason rapping on his door.

“Obviously. It's midnight.” Damian glowered. As if he had anywhere else to be when there wasn't patrol and Dick was avoiding him.

“And you're  _ obviously _  missing you beauty sleep, yes, yes.” Jason said rolling his eyes and coming in.

“What are you doing here Todd?” Damian asked, already trying to think how to get rid of him. He usually didn't have much to do with Jason: they'd known each other when Jason was at the league and now gave one another a fairly wide amount of space. They didn't dislike each other, not like he and Tim used to, they just tolerated each other's presence for the most part.

“Happy Birthday.” Jason said throwing a package at Damian's face.

“You never give me presents.” Damian stated suspiciously as he caught it.

“Yeah. That's not from me. Big Prick forgot to send it or something. Thought I might as well bring it along since I was coming over anyway. I can't deal with his mopping after all the time he spent picking it out.” Jason said huffing out an annoyed breath.

“He spent time picking it out? What is it?” Asked Damian, heart beating fast. Sure enough the tag on the bag had his name on it, though whatever was written underneath had been scribbled out. This was present #2. Dick  _ had _ gotten him something. But why would he decide not to give it to him?

“God knows.” Shrugged Jason, “I didn't check.”

“Oh.” Damian swallow. Thank heavens for small blessings. 

“See you around kid.” Jason said with a grin ruffling his hair, “try not to get killed this next year.”

“Go fuck Drake.” Said Damian pulling away and making a face.

“Will do.” Jason's smile got a little sharper and Damian tried to swallow as he fleetingly realized how intense it must be being the center of that attention. Then the older Robin had left. 

Damian locked his door and hesitantly unwrapped the present. 

He let out a long slow breath as heat flooded to his cheeks at what was inside: 19 pairs of panties and thongs. More than that, they were all  _ Nightwing  _ themed. 

He could see why Dick had decided not to give them. He was immensely greatfull that Jason had given them anyway.

With a spot of dread, he wondered if that meant that Dick somehow  _ knew. _ Was that why he was avoiding him? The fact that Damian liked him that way made him that uncomfortable? But, if he'd known he wouldn't be picking out sexy underwear for him. If anything he'd be trying to draw strong clear lines between them. Damian was confused.

He was also kicking off his clothes and trying on the first pair of panties. 

They were black silk with an electric blue stripe that connected in a V over his ass. The fabric felt cool and seemed to caress his skin in a way that made shivers run up his spine. He'd somewhat expected it to be uncomfortable to trap his cock in the front of the underwear, but he realized that so long as he wasn't hard it'd actually be quite nice. He wondered if Dick picked them to be like that. 

When he looked in the mirror he almost stopped caring what Dick thought or would think:

He looked… Sexy. 

The panties drew attention to his legs which were long and still smooth from his last shower. The Nightwing blue seemed to frame the curve of his ass in an attention grabbing manner. His rear was hardly as shapely as Dick's, but it was still pert enough to look cute in the panties rather than erotic which… Damian kind of liked. 

What followed was an unintended underwear fashion show with no audience as he tried on all of the pairs. Damian stretched and bent and turned this way and that examining his reflection. He liked the thongs a lot more than he thought he would. He disliked the ones with lace or sheer fabric on the front since scratchy things against his cock were less than pleasant. He liked the subtle Nightwing designs more than the blantent ones. 

Dick called at 2 am in a panic. 

“ _ Sorry if I woke you up babybat, but has Jason been by?” _ There was a fair amount of anxiety in his voice.

“Yeah, a few hours ago, why?” Asked Damian.

“ _ I- he, um, didn't give you something did he _ ?” Dick tried to ask casually. 

“Are you referring to the underwear you bought me?” Damian asked dryly. 

“... _ fuck _ .”

“Why weren't you going to give them to me? You'd already bought them and underwear is hardly the most scandalous thing you've given me as a present over the years.” Damian pointed out, even as he stood on tiptoes to see the way the thong he was trying on framed the clenched muscles of his cheeks. It was a pleasing sight. 

“ _ I don't know I just… Seems a waste if I keep giving you presents that you're going to chuck in the trash, you know _ ?” That didn't sound like the truth but even so…

“You honestly think I'd throw away a gift? Even if it is embarrassing? You should know that kind of disrespectful behavior is beneath me Grayson.” Damian scoffed. Let him think he was just be polite. Dick didn't have to know he'd liked all his gifts.

“All of them?” The tight anxiousness was back in Dick's voice along with an under layer of…. Something. 

“Well, except for the virtual Japanese dating game. Drake stole that. Honestly Grayson, I am not  _ that _ bad with people that I need to be taught by a computer in step by step scenarios.” Damian snarked even as he lay his bed and examined the way the smooth skin of his legs gave way to silk. He thought he knew why he probably liked them: they made him look like something desirable. Someone sexy and confident and daring enough to step outside the norm. 

“ _ I know you're not babybat. They were always supposed to be jokes _ .” Dick replied. 

“I know.” Damian said, wondering if the current situation meant the joke was on him or Dick?

“Have I done something to offend you lately?” Damian suddenly asked.

“ _What? No! Of course not! Why would you think that_?” Dick sounded genuinely surprised. Damian closed his eyes, that was something at least.

“You've been avoiding me.” He said softly.

“ _I…._ ” Damian could practically hear the wince in his voice, “ _sorry little D, just going through some shit right now. Didn't want you to get caught up in it_.”

“I'd rather get caught up than not see you.” The words came out before he could stop them. 

A beat of silence and a sharp intake of breath on the other line.

“ _God, I am going to give you the mother of all bearhugs when I next see you._ ” Dick finally breathed.

“Don't you dare.” Damian threatened. Dick just laughed, a sound much lighter than when he'd first called.

_“Love you too babybat, see you when I see you~_ ”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really 'meh' about this chapter, but I suppose that's okay

Damian had told himself he was done messing with Dick Grayson’s toys. Every morning he would swear it, ignore the fantasies of the previous night as best as he could and plough on with his day. Pretending like he wasn't wearing the underwear Dick had given him more than his own.  And then every night after patrol he'd find himself pulling open the hidden compartment of his bookshelf and selecting a toy.  He quietly justified that since he'd refrained from all such sexual related acts while he was a teenager he was entitled to some experimentation to at least determined his preferences as an adult. He wouldn't want to jump into a relationship with Di- with someone if he was a stranger to his own body. 

Even if it made sense in his head even if it didn't erase the sense of shame that would accompany the explicit fantasies he entertained while pleasuring himself. 

A part of Damian fervently hoped that no one would ever find out about his nightly activities. Another part craved for Dick to walk in on him. See him using the tools he'd given him to wreck himself thoroughly. Maybe join in. Even if he knew in his head that Dick finding out about this would be a disaster, it was still one of his go to fantasies.

Much to his chagrin, Damian still hadn't figured out how to get either of the two dildo’s he had into him without it hurting. Some pain was ok if he was in the right mood, but trying to get either toy in more than halfway sent a crackle of aching discomfort directly up his spine. It was frustrating, but he was too proud look up how to do it correctly on the internet- gods above knew they had too many hackers in the family for _that_ to be safe- and the likelihood of him  _ asking  _ someone for advice was even lower. 

What he wanted was for Dick to tell him how to do it without Damian asking. Or better, show him, though he was aware that one was probably possible only in his fantasies. But he didn't know how- fuck, he didn't know how to go about any of it. 

Tonight he'd gotten back from patrol insanely early. His father was still out, Alfred was asleep, and Tim had gone to stay at Jason's for the weekend. Damian decided to be a little more adventurous with his play that night.

First he grabbed a pair of identical nipple clamps and put them on without taking his shirt off. He let his eyes flutter as the soft fabric of the clothing teased the hyper sensitive nubs with the lightest of caresses that made him hot all over. Secondly he grabbed a small egg like ball, set the timer on it, and carefully pushed the thing until it popped past the ring of his asshole with only the chord hanging down his thigh. It was small enough he couldn't really feel it standing normally, but the knowledge that it was inside and nobody would know was almost enough by itself.

But the kink factor wasn't the only thing nice about that toy. 

Heart beating faster than normal with both shame and excitement, Damian pulled on the Nightwing panties and then his pants back into place and climbed out his window onto the roof. There was no one to see him, and even if there was they wouldn't see anything. But Damian knew, and as the little egg inside him started pulsing, as he felt the soft slide of silk and lace on his hardening cock, that was more than enough.  He imagined Dick coming and bending him over the roof and pulling off his pants. Putting him shamefully on display. He imagined Dick pulling the toy out of his asshole painfully slowly, enough to see it was the one he'd given him, and then popping it back in with a wicked smile.

‘ _ My dirty little Robin.’ _ He pictured Dick telling him. 

Damian reached up and rolled one of his nipples between his fingers letting out a shuddering breath. Nipple play, he'd discovered since that first night, was one of his favorite things to do to himself while he mastrubated. It drove him up the wall fast, and the clamps made it even more intense. He'd never tested it, mostly because he'd be mortified if he was correct, but he suspected that with enough attention he could come just from playing with his nipples enough. 

Damian flexed his toes as the vibrations got gentler and turned off. They'd come back in a few minutes. Then again. Each time building in intensity till Damian decided to turn it off.  Reaching under his shirt he stroked softly the clamps. He'd take them off after another cycle of the egg he decided. The pressure only felt so good for so long. 

The panties on the other hand felt  _ really  _ nice. The silk was an addictive tease on his balls. The cut of the fabric leaving him with enough flexibility that he sometimes wore a pair under his costume. He didn't really want to get these dirty because then he'd have to find time to wash them when Alfred wasn't around to avoid suspicion. Still though, he was reluctant to take them off. 

He imagined Dick would be too if he could see them.

His building bliss was interrupted by the sound of a motorcycle pulling up to the manor. Damian frowned. It wasn't the aggressive growl of Jason's bike. He was probably fucking Tim’s brains out right about now anyway. No, this bike sounded more like a purr.

Ducking out of sight, Damian was caught between panic and a sudden spike in arousal as the bike pulled up under one of the lights of the manor and he recognized the blue and black design. Damian squeezed his cock through his pants as it gave an unhelpful throb as he watched Dick lope up the stairs. The man would probably go to the cave and swing by Damian's room. The order of those visits was uncertain. If he went to the cave first Damian would have time to hide the evidence of what he'd been doing and maybe finish himself off really quick so he could face the other with a cool head. If went right for Damian's room-

Dick seemed to have spotted him, grinned, and was flipping up the side of the wall with an acrobats grace. Damian panicked a bit. He may have had plenty of fantasies about Dick catching him but he hadn't actually wanted it to happen. He wondered if he could excuse himself to the bathroom- but no, he hadn't closed up his secret shelf and he didn't want Dick to see.

Sloppy, he scolded himself. He was too comfortable in his own space and he'd gotten sloppy. 

“Hello little D!” Dick greeted him cheerfully.

“Grayson,” Damian acknowledged stiffly. It was dark enough that Dick probably couldn't see how hard he was. 

“Wow, that bad of a night huh?” Dick whistled seeming to pick up on the tension in his voice immediately. Damian shrugged a shoulder stiffly hoping it'd be enough to deter the other. But Dick never did seem to know when to quit so he simply plopped down next to him, “wanna tell me about it?”

“No.” Damian said firmly, unable to stop his breath from hitching as the toy restarted inside him. He tried not to squirm knowing that the object of his desires and affection was watching him very closely, “why are you here?”

“To see you.” Said Dick a little guiltily, “I realized I haven't been very fair to you. I've been dealing with some personal shit lately and I was worried you'd feel like I was pushing you to the wayside…. And Jason mentioned you seemed down so I felt bad I haven't been here for you lately.”

“Todd said that?” Damian struggled to say evenly as the toy came close to driving him crazy.

“Well… His actual words might what been “ _ even more fucking prickly than usual _ ” so I kinda translated from there.” Dick admitted. 

“Hah, surprised he even noticed anything beyond Drake’s ass.” Damian tried to snort even as he was distinctly aware of the wet spot he was making in the front of his sweats from the way his cock was leaking. He really wanted to reach down and cup himself. A few strokes and he'd be done at this point. But no way he could with Dick watching him.

“What's this got to do with Tim?” Dick asked brow pleating.

“Nothing. Just he and Todd have been fucking so much I am surprised they were able to notice anything else.” Shrugged Damian glad the attention was off him.

“Wait  _ what _ ?!” Gaped Dick. 

“Honestly, is everyone blind?” Scoffed Damian trying to subtly bring his knees up. 

“Are you sure?” Asked Dick still looking a little disbelieving.

“Walked in on them, so yes, I am adequately certain.” Said Damian bluntly. 

“Shit.” Muttered Dick raking a hand through his hair, “ _ shit.  _ I can't believe _ \-  _ Bruce is going to freak.”

“Most likely.” Agreed Damian. 

“Hell… I need a drink.” Muttered Dick.

“I didn't think you liked drinking.” Frowned Damian not sure if he was disturbed or not.

“Not often. But I think I need to bleach the image of Jay and Tim getting it on out of my head.” Grimaced Dick standing up before offering Damian a smile with a sideways smile and a hand, “want to join me?”

Damian stared at the offered hand blinking as the toy finally timed itself off and he could think a little more clearly. 

“I am not 21 yet.” He muttered. 

“Eh, you're a little over a year short, but you're close enough for me.” Shrugged Dick, “besides, Bruce lets you drink at gala’s so I doubt it's a real problem.”

“...very well.” He conceded. He didn't much like alcohol, but he did want to spend time with Dick… Even if the other had arrived at a less than optimal time.

They re-entered the Manor through a window near the kitchen door. Dick grabbed several bottles from the pantry while Damian quickly shut himself into his bathroom to remove and hide the vibrator and clamps. The moment it was safely out his anxiety went way down... as well as the secret thrill of having gotten away with it. He took a moment to calm down physically as well, though that was less easily done. 

“Geez babybat, that took forever. Did you fight many battles while you were away?” Dick teased when he returned. 

“I see your humor has not improved while _you_ were away.” Damian said scornfully while Dick snickered.

“Yet you love me anyway.” Dick sang pulling him into a reluctant side hug.

That statement was more true than he knew. 

The two of them made themselves comfortable in one of the many unused drawing rooms. Damian himself carefully on the couch. Partially because his skin still felt ultra sensitive and partially because he disapproved of the way Dick simply sprawled undignified- yet somehow still elegant and utterly attractive- on the couch. 

He raised an eyebrow at the hefty glasses Dick was pouring for them.

“Are you trying to give us both alcohol poisoning before the end of the night?” Damian inquired.

“Ye of little faith, I know my limits and I am about to let you go over board either,”scoffed Dick handing him his drink, “but I did say we were on a mission to get a bit sloshed. And I've come to the realization that I've never seen you get tipsy before and I am very interested to know what that's like.”

“You know, this isn't going to in any way change the fact that Todd and Drake are-” 

“Shh shh shhhhh! This is our time to forget such things. Reality is for tomorrow.” Dick hushed him putting a finger over Damian's lips. The rough texture felt interesting on the soft skin of Damian's mouth and he had the strangest urge to stick out his tongue and taste them. Instead he batted Dick's hand away and took a heavy swig of his drink.

Damian grimaced at the burning sensation that seemed to make his stomach uncomfortably hot. 2 seconds later the taste hit and it was foul enough to make him consider puking. 

He glared at Dick who had busted up laughing at the expression on his face.

“What the fuck is this?” Glowered Damian.

“That's some high quality shit that is. Probably cost Bruce like $1,000 a bottle. Thought a little prince like you might appreciate it but looks like I was wrong.” Laughed Dick sipping his own glass with twinkling blue eyes.

“It's vile.” Damian declared taking another sip just to prove he wasn't a wuss.

“God babybat, your so cute.” Dick said ruffling his hair. Damian glared at him and finished off his glass in one big gulp and handed it over for more. Dick raised an eyebrow but refilled it.

A round about the time he handed his glass over for his fourth refill Damian decided that while he hated alcohol, it was not the worst thing in the world.

The taste didn't get any better, but Damian was fairly certain he killed off a fair amount of his tastebuds till it was tolerable. He kept testing the tip of his tongue against his teeth and lips feeling the odd sensation of the muscle being semi-numb.

“You've got such a cute little tongue.” Dick informed him, well on his way to being drunk himself.

“Didn't know tongues could be cute.” Mumbled Damian slumped into the elder’s side. Dick's hand was tracing the skin on his hip where Damian's shirt had ridden up and it was terribly distracting. 

“Yours is. All red and wet and tinny peaking out of that little mouth of yours. Does things to a man you know.” Dick informed him, his speech a little slurred even as bopped Damian on the nose playfully.

“What kinds of things?” Damian asked a little breathlessly as Dick continued drinking.

“You know, all sorts of things.” Dick said waving his hand, “makes me want to let you do things I shouldn't.”

“I'd do them. I'd do them all.” Damian promised, a little too honest in his buzzed state. He twisted to lay more comfortably on Dick and his shirt twisted up with him, hitching high up.

Damian's eyes fluttered slightly as Dick's hand traveled up the newly exposed skin, lightly tracing and caressing the scars on his back particularly the large knotted scar along his spine. 

“You shouldn't tell me things like that babybat… You have no idea the things I've thought about.” Dick frowned distractedly emptying another glass down his throat.

The words were almost more potent than the alcohol the way they seemed to light his blood on fire and make his head dizzy: Dick had thought about doing things with him before… Dick  _ wanted _ him.

“ _ Please tell me. _ ” Damian said, his voice lower and more husky than he'd ever heard it. Demanding, but a little bit uncertain. Dick seemed to like it. This close Damian could see the way his pupils expanded ever so slightly, could feel the little shiver it caused.

“Gods  _ Dami _ … You're so…” Muttered Dick reaching out and cupping Damian's cheek. Damian leaned into the touch and Dick lightly brushed his thumb over his mouth. Impulsively, Damian stuck out his tongue and tasted the digit like he'd wanted to earlier. It must have been the right thing to do because Dick's eyes were going half lidded and the thumb was being pressed past his lips. Damian almost felt like he was possessed the way he instantly started lapping and sucking at it. He knew he probably didn't like or feel all that sexy but he hoped he made up for his lack of technique with enthusiasm.

“Fuck, thought about this. ‘Cept it wasn't my finger you were sucking.” Damian whimpered at the suggestion, started rocking his half hard cock against Dick's hip, “I feel like such shit every time I think about how much I want to fuck your little mouth.”

“Please,” moaned Damian pulling away not even caring that there was spit shinning on his chin. His drunk brain couldn't manage Dick's belt so he just pawed and squeezed him through his jeans, “please, can we do that? Want it too.”

“No, we can't.” Said Dick sounding breathless and not particularly sure of his words, “we’re both drunk. Consent and all that- fuck, Dami you can't  _ do _ that- it's very important.”

“I can definitely still consent. And I want it.” Growled Damian trying to shimmy down Dick's body only to be stopped by his hands gripping the younger’s hips. Damian flipped his fringe out of his eyes so Dick could get the full benefit of his disapproving expression.

“Fuck, somehow never factored into my fantasies what a little prince you are and that that might translate into bed. Probably should have.” Said Dick ruefully, though there was a  _ hungry _ look in his eyes. 

“So? Take me to bed  _ Richard _ … Why don't you see for yourself what a prince I can be.” Damian leaned up to murmur in his ear, challenging, daring Dick to step past his reservations. 

“I…” Dick swallowed heavily, his cock giving an obvious twitch against where Damian was pressed against him.

“Yes, Richard?” Damian asked again because Dick seemed a little undone at the use of his full name on Damian's tongue. He nuzzled down the elder’s neck, catching a bit of skin over Dick pulse point between his teeth and began sucking and licking at it lavishly. It was a move he'd seen Jason pull on Tim a number of times and it always had the other boy writhing. Damian was not disappointed. Dick let out a small whimper and his hands gripped at Damian's ass with an edge of desperation.

“I suppose you don't have to fuck my  _ mouth _ tonight.” Damian tried for another tactic rolling his hips in a way that he hoped conveyed his meaning. By the look of raw surprise and want on Dick's face, he got the message.

“We  _ can't  _ Dami… Fuck, this is such the worst idea… Dami, shit, I want you so bad you've got to stop. I can't-” Dick moaned even as he rolled his hips up to meet him.

“So  _ don't.  _ Come on Richard, take me. I'm already prepped and everything. You could just slide right in.” Damian tried to coax. He actually probably needed a fair amount of stretching and lube still, the egg he had worn not even close to the same level as a cock. But he figured if he could get Dick to agree the rest was negotiable. 

“Why are you-?” Dick's voice cracked before he shook his head firmly this time, “Damian no. Even if we were sober enough to consent- which I am  _ damn sure _ neither of us are even if you think differently- I am too drunk to be as careful with you as I'd need to be.”

“What if I don't want you to be careful with me?” Damian said even as he slumped in defeat on Dick's chest. He knew that look in Dick's eyes: he'd made up his mind and in a battle of stubbornness it was fairly certain Damian would lose when he was feeling so light headed.

“I bet you don't.” Dick laughed hoarsely, “But you'd need me to be. Even if you had the loosest hole around- which somehow I doubt- you can't just ram stuff in there. Especially with assholes. And I'd never forgive myself if I hurt you.”

“But you're going to run once you get sober.” Damian mumbled unhappily.

“Yeah…” Agreed Dick pulling him close, “I definitely am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well will I update next...? Not sure. I have several stories going that are calling to me strongly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update so soon after the last! Unheard of! All the comments inspired me so...
> 
> I thought we were overdue for a chapter from Dick's POV

Dick woke up staring at an ornate chandelier hanging above him. It took a moment to remember why he was there, why his head hurt, and what the warm weight on his chest was. With a sick feeling in his stomach that had nothing to do with how much alcohol he’d consumed the night prior he realized the answers to those questions were all the same: Damian.

_ “ _ Oh God.” he whispered squeezing his eyes shut as if that would block out reality, “ _ Oh God.” _

Damian was off limits. He’d been telling himself that for ages... Well, not ages. A few months really when he’d realized that he liked Damian far more than he ought to. He had been his  _ Robin _ . They’d known each other since Damian was  _ 10 _ and Dick was barely more than a kid himself. He loved Damian fiercely, but that didn’t mean he was okay with the fact that he was attracted to him.

He was- He was supposed to  _ protect _ Damian. He’d always seen himself some who could be Damian’s support. That the younger could trust. He wanted to lift the other up. Wanted to watch him find his wings and fly.

He wasn’t- he-  _ wanting _ Damian had never been part of the plan. 

But he did. Dick hadn’t really realized till Damian had spent the night on his couch and he’d suddenly been hit with the knowledge that Damian wasn’t a kid anymore. He’d known that in his head. Known that Damian hadn’t really been a kid for- well, much of his life. But it hadn’t sunken in till he’d seen him twisted in a blanket on his couch letting out the softest of unintelligible sighs that probably shouldn’t have sounded as pornographic as they did to Dick. And then walking in on him in nothing more than  _ Dicks _ shirt. He’d been horrified by the fantasies that he was suddenly having. Those smooth legs, that muscular scar ridden form, those bright eyes looking up at him from under thick lashes and a furrowed- questioning- brow.

So Dick had gone to lengths to put some distance between them. He’d wanted to cut this off before he had time to fall in love with him. God, he thought he had spent enough time reasoning away his want that it would be okay for him to see Damian again. A time to reaffirm boundaries and their relationship.

‘ _ Good going Dick _ ,’ he told himself scathingly finally opening his eyes and looking at the sleeping body in his arms, ‘ _ doing such a stellar job at that, aren’t you?’ _

Damian was frowning in his sleep. Dick wanted to kiss it away but he swallowed back the impulse. He needed to leave before Damian woke up. They needed to talk about what had happened the previous night. Dick needed to explain that it wasn’t okay for them hold each other like that, to touch, to seduce, revel in the intimacy of being so close to someone he cared so much for… that he wanted  _ so much- _

But first he needed to get his head together. If all of their years of knowing each other if he’d learned one thing it was that Damian wouldn’t accept anything but the best of arguments as to why he couldn’t do what he wanted to. And apparently, if last night had been anything to go by, he wanted  _ Dick _ … and if they talked right now Dick would let him have what he wanted.

Still, just crawling out from under him and leaving Damian here alone in an unused drawing room felt too much like heartless abandonment. He might be going to break Damian’s heart but there was no reason to be needlessly cruel. Some day Damian would be able to see that Dick wasn’t the right person for him and that this was a good thing for them ultimately. Damian was still so young. He was probably latching on Dick because they were the closest and Damian didn’t really have many other positive relationships. His world was still so small. He needed to get out find the broader horizons, the greater loves, that awaited him out in the world. A relationship with Dick would only hold him back.

With a sigh, Dick shifted and lifted Damian into his arms. It wasn’t an easy task, Damian was easily almost as big and heavy as Dick now. He was certainly about as tall. 

Still, Dick was a vigilanti. If he could carry fully grown fat men out of burning fires he could definitely carry Damian up the stairs to his room. Thankfully it was too early in morning for even Alfred to be wandering around so no one questioned him on his trek of shame. Which reminded him, he’d have to delete the surveillance recording of last night before Bruce saw it or he would certainly be skinned alive.

Damian went easily into his bed, it only took a little bit of effort to disentangle his fingers from Dicks shirt and tuck him in carefully. Damian was usually a light sleeper, but Dick guessed that the alcohol they’d had was still working it’s way from his system because he didn’t do much more than make a disgruntled face and curl more deeply into his covers. His heartbeat and breathing was too steady for him to be faking it either. He’d probably have a pretty bad hangover when he woke up. Dick already did.

He went to go grab him some water and painkillers, but paused when he caught sight of an open compartment of Damian’s bookcase.

At first he wasn’t quite sure- and then it was more that he didn’t want to  _ believe _ what he was seeing, but  _ fuck _ he’d been the one to buy those toys he knew what they looked like. And they were out of their packaging which probably meant-

_ Don’t think about it, don’t picture Damian like that- _

Too late.

“Fuck, babybat, it was supposed to be a joke I…” Dick whispered. He’d just wanted to fluster him a little bit. See that scrunched nose expression Damian would make when he thought Dick was being gross. Except the Nightwing underwear. Those he’d bought while imagining what Damian might look in them. It had felt vastly inappropriate which is why he’d never planned on giving it to him. But if Damian had kept the rest of them Dick suddenly wondered… no. No, he would not check. He’d already failed Damian enough that day. Part of him wondered if he should remove the toys because really, that was- but all the good it would really do is tell Damian he knew and Dick wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle confronting him about that. Even with all the guilt in his system he was hard just thinking about the other.

But ignoring his own needs was something Dick had gotten good at over the years so he simply got Damian his water and meds and then scribbled him a quick note and left.

~~_ We need to talk about last night  _ ~~

~~_ I’ll call you as soon as I _ ~~

~~_ I really care about you but we can’t _ ~~

_ I’m so sorry Dami. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be back to Damian's POV


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close folks. Not really any smut in this one, very short. Just setting the stage ;)

Damian was miserable before he was conscious enough to know why he was miserable. There was a nagging ache in his chest like when he messed up on patrol really bad and his father yelled at him the night before. It was a knowing deep in his bones that being awake was not going to be a happy thing. This time though, he couldn’t go back to sleep because his stomach was rolling in way that suggested.

Damian scrambled ungracefully to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. He panted for a moment once he could breath again and grimaced against the vile taste in his mouth. He  _ hated _ throwing up. When he was sick, sometimes he refused to throw up out of sheer will power because he hated it so much. Even if he knew in his head it’d probably make him feel better. This was why he’d never been tempted to get drunk before. The only reason he had last night was-

A panicked sort of dread started to wash over him and Damian tried to lurch to his feet… only to pitch forward again gripping the seat of the toilet bowl as he heaved what felt like all of his insides out. It was a gross sound, a gross feeling, a gross… it was gross. He felt gross. Dick had rejected him like he knew he would and now he felt gross. He was raised to be the next Alexander the Great, and here he was retching like a pathetic person on the floor of his bathroom after his first and only love had fled.

He was pretty sure Dick had fled. He was in his own room which meant Dick had tucked him in there and if Dick hadn’t stayed till he woke up he was pretty sure that meant he’d run.

Unable to stand the sight or smell in front of him anymore, Damian flushed the toilet and cautiously got to his feet. He still felt nauseous, much it was manageable now. Methodically, Damian went through the motions of washing out his mouth, brushing his teeth, and- in an attempt to at least not feel gross physically even if he did emotionally- hopped into the shower.

When he ran out of things to do in the bathroom Damian went back into his room. He started blankly as the water and meds on his bedside table and the pathetically inadequate note there before he simply flopped down onto his bed to stare at the ceiling. He’d get dressed later. Right now he was wallowing. He had the right to, he reasoned: for one cruel moment he’d had what he’d wanted and now it’d been taken away from him again. Damian squeezed his bare thighs together as if that would drive away the memories of Dick’s eager hands on him. He was  _ wallowing _ after all, he wasn’t in the mood to get turned on.

Not that it was an easy task: He now knew what it felt like to have one of Dick’s thighs pressed up between his legs, to have his hands on his ass, to know the tantalizing sensation of skin on skin all along his back and sides, knew what Dick’s skin tasted like on his tongue, the huskie quality of the other’s voice when he moaned…

The look of desire in Dick’s eyes when it was directed at  _ him. _

Damian bent one leg and straightened the other, still trying to squeeze them together. The whole not thinking about it thing wasn’t working, so Damian decided to think about it. 

Dick had said he wanted him. Had fantasized about him. That meant it hadn’t been something completely born out of being drunk. That meant even though Dick’s reservations stopped him from  _ acting  _ on his desires he still-

The question was, did that mean Damian had a chance?

Well, if you took “chance” to mean something that was incredible improbable but still  _ technically _ possible… maybe.

If he wanted to keep that slim possibility, Damian realized, he’d have to act soon though. And he’d have to take Dick be surprise or doubtless he’d come up with some dumb reason about why they shouldn’t be together. Damian was sick and tired of those reasons though. He loved Dick and he wanted-  _ he wanted _ … and now he knew that Dick wanted him too? He already knew that Dick loved him, he had just assumed that it was strictly platonic. But apparently not anymore and Damian didn’t intend to give Dick the chance to correct that. 

Damian sat up as an idea started to form. A nervous fluttering was increasing steadily in his chest while his lower regions were… hmm, yes, well. Not wanting to waste too much time, Damian sent a quick text to Tim.

_ ‘You don’t want father to know about you and Todd yet, correct?’ _ Damian typed. He chose Tim because he assumed Jason actually would take some glee in Bruce finding out. Tim on the other hand…

‘ _ What the actual fuck Damian?’ _

_ ‘Is that correct?’  _  Damian repeated. There was a long pause after that.

_ ‘If you ask me to help you kill someone, I’m not doing it. I can deal with Bruce.’  _  Tim texted finally. 

‘ _ Don’t be dramatic Drake.’  _ Damian scolded him sneering at his phone, ‘ _ Grayson is being a baby and I need to speak with him. I want you find a way to get him to his house and keep him there until I get there.’ _

‘ _ And, supposing I do this, you’ll drop this matter forever?’  _ Tim texted, and Damian could practically hear the suspicion through the device.

‘ _ You have my word.’ _ Damian told him.

‘ _ Right.’  _ There was no intonation in texting, but Tim didn’t seem particularly convinced, ‘ _ So I could probably get dick in his house this evening before patrol. Would that suit your needs _ ?’

‘ _ That would be perfect.’ _ Damian texted. Tim was probably pissed that he was blackmailing him and would doubtless be intolerable the next time they met, but it would be worth it if this worked out. 

Tonight. He was going to- completely sober he was going to- It was already afternoon, he had slept so late- He couldn’t tell if he was nauseous or nervously aroused thinking about what he was planning. 

Damian swallowed and made his way to the open compartment of his bookshelf.


	8. Chapter 8

Damian was more than a little nervous showing up at Dick’s temporary apartment with a backpack slung over his shoulder. He knew it didn’t show on his face, knew that if anyone saw him here all they’d see was an annoyed looking young man. That didn’t mean that Damian wouldn’t rather crawl in a hole rather than have someone so much as  _ look _ at him right now. As if they’d be able to somehow  _ know _ just by looking what he had in his backpack.

As if they’d know he was here to try and seduce Dick Grayson.

Objectively, Damian knew he was very attractive. He looked like his mother and father, how could he not be? And Dick had seemed attracted to him before, and not just because he was drunk. If Damian were anyone else he didn’t think Dick would protest very much about taking him to bed. But he was, and that both made him feel important and incredibly frustrated. 

Damian considered knocking on the door, before reasoning that the door was probably only used when… scratch that, the door was probably never used. All the Bat’s prefered windows and Dick was the worst of them when it came to such things. Sure enough, when Dami swung himself around- and thank heavens it was already dark- to Dick’s window the ledge showed signs of much use already and the window slid open easily after Damian disabled the alarms. 

“Grayson?” Damian decided to announce himself as he tried to slip out of the bedroom and towards the light coming from the livingroom. Before he could get out the door though and arm caught him and tried to twist him down to his knees. Instinctively, Damian jerked his elbow back sharply enough that the other had to shift his weight to avoid getting smacked in the face. It was enough to let Damian throw his weight to the side and send them tumbling. Halfway through the motion he belatedly recognized the touch of the one holding him, so instead of following his move up with a nerve attack, he let himself get pinned to the floor.

It was hard to smother the instinct to keep fighting, but it was definitely worth it to see the range of emotions flicker across Dick’s features: recognition to surprise to desire to dread to a guarded expression. All gone in an instant but Damian had  _ seen. _ They stared at each other in silence for an unnatural moment. Damian thought about telling Dick to let him up, but he realized he rather liked having the other on top of him. As usual, Dick broke the silence first.

“Dami, why are you here?” he asked, face closed off but emotions clearly boiling just out of reach in his eyes. Damian frowned.

“That’s a stupid question and we both know it. You honestly can’t have expected to get me drunk, feel me up and tell me… all that, and then run away like a coward and expect me just to accept it?” Damian sneered. His skin felt hot and tight and much much too small for his body. He was very conscious of each breath that he took and each point of contact between he and Dick.

The guilt that flashed across Dick’s features was certainly impressive. Damian had brought in plenty of criminals that didn’t even look half that guilty.

“I’m so sorry Dami…” Dick said his facade crumbling a bit as he gave him a tortured look, “I know it was messed up and there’s no excuse for-”

“Shut up. Honestly Grayson, you’re supposed to be more intelligent than this,” Damian glowered at him while Dick blinked at him in surprise, “Do you honestly think I’m mad about  _ that? _ ”

“Damian..” that guarded expression coming back onto his face. Damian tried not to grind his teeth in frustration. Dick would talk and think himself round in circles till he either put Damian at arms length of gave in out of guilt and tore himself up afterwards. Neither option was what he wanted so he tried to cut it short. What Damian wanted…

He tried to surge upward to steal a kiss but Dick reared back looking a little panicked. 

“Dami, stop, this isn’t okay.” Dick clambered away from him.

“Don’t trust yourself around me all of a sudden?” Damian tried for haughty confidence.

“Seriously Damian.”

“Fine then. Seriously, as you say it, what is your issue with being with me?” Damian huffed in frustration, “I have been a consenting adult for quite a while now. I want you and you want me as far as I can tell. You are not currently in love or seeing with anyone else and neither am I.”

“It’s more than that babybat…” Dick floundered looking away.

“So what is it? Is it because you were father’s ward before? Neither of are related to each other legally or by blood. Nor have we  _ ever _ had a familial relationship. Unless you’ve been harboring brotherly feelings for me in which case Grayson I have to say that is quite disturbing-”

“No! No, no, you were alway important, but you were never-” Dick said looking horrified at the thought.

“Good.” nodded Damian satisfied, “It is the same for me.”

“God, Dami, that doesn’t mean we should- I’m so much  _ older _ than you.” Groaned Dick.

“It’s not as if you’re old enough to be my father. You’re certainly not. And even if you were, you have show in the past that age doesn’t matter that much to you. I  _ was _ around for Midnighter and Tiger you know. So I don’t see why it matters in regards to me.” Damian pushed back stubbornly crawling forward to sit close. 

“I’m supposed to look out for you.” Dick said a little hopelessly.

“And I look out for you. Were you not telling me just the other day that we are partners? Equals?” Damian said steadily watching Dick close his eyes and struggle with himself.

“We are.” Dick said firmly, “I just… don’t want to hurt you.”

“You hurt me more by pushing me away.” Damian admitted softly. Dick stared at him before he shook his head and laughed a little hopelessly.

“I’m never going to make it to 30, am I? Bruce is going to kill me. God, I’ve corrupted batman’s son.” Dick said slumping forward into him.

“I was plenty corrupted before you came into the picture Grayson.” tisked Damian hesitantly bringing a hand up to Dick’s hair. His chest felt like it was swelling tremendously because did this mean-?

“I don’t even know where I should start with you.” admitted Dick into his shirt, “You’re not a casual date or someone I’ve even tried to actively woo…”

“I do have a suggestion.” Damian said hurriedly, his face heating up a bit. Dick lifted his head and tilted it curiously at him blinking pretty blue eyes at him. It was probably a good thing Dick had never tried to “actively woo” him, he didn’t think his heart would have survived the pinning stage.

“Really? You came prepared? Did you come here knowing I was going to give in?” asked Dick ruefully as Damian moved to grab his fallen bag.

“You’re not… giving in, right?” Damian paused and rounded on him, “I don’t want to be humored in this regard. If you don’t want-”

“Oh Damian, wanting is not at all the problem.” Admitted Dick looking a bit embarrassed. 

“Good. Because I thought we could start out with you teaching me to use one of those.” Damian tried to say casually throwing his backpack at Dick. The other gave him a curious look before unzipping the bag and choking on a breath.

“Damian, these are…” Dicks eyes were wide and- Damian noted with more than a little satisfaction- more than a little dark with desire.

“You didn’t exactly leave instructions with all of them.” huffed Damian looking away his cheeks flushed, “What was I supposed to do? Look up errotic videos?”

“You weren’t supposed to not use any of it.” Dick reminded him, but there was now a slight note of hesitant appreciation as he pulled out a dildo and examined it, “And you can say ‘porn’ Damian.”

“Tt, will you teach me or not?” Damian demanded crossing his arms. 

There was a long silence.

“I’m going to hell.” Dick decided with a laugh.

“You-” Damian frowned.

“Yes, babybat, I’ll teach you.” agreed Dick crawling over and stealing their first kiss on the mouth,


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's one long smut fest. It honestly ended up really vanilla which I wasn't expecting but I should have.

Their first kiss was soft and tender enough to make Damian let out a huff of breath that was half whimper. It was just as well he was sitting on the floor because his knees would have given out at that point.

“Grayson…” Damian breathed out. And fuck, one taste and he was as addicted as he’d always known he would be.

“Still with me Dami? How do you want this?” Dick smiled at him seeming to have relaxed into the situation at long last.

“On the bed.” Damian decided. With a grin, Dick playfully hopped onto his heels and scooped Damian up in his arms. Damian considered protesting, but really…

“And then, your highness? Would you like to be on your stomach or your back? Do you want me to talk you through it or touch you?” Dick teased flopping both of them onto the bed with a bounce.

“I want to be on my back. And you to touch me.” Damian decided, though his cheeks had gone completely crimson. He wasn’t about to back down though. He rather liked the idea of Dick treating him like royalty in bed.

“Yes sir,” grinned Dick teasingly pressing their mouths together quickly once more before setting the dildo in the bed beside them and hands moving to Damian’s pants.

“I want to keep my shirt on.” Damian suddenly decided, shivering with slight embarrassment at the idea of being… being laid completely  _ bare _ for Dick like that while he- “And you’re not allowed to stare.”

“Why not? You’re beautiful.” Dick asked gently stroking his thighs and making no move to pull off his pants.

“I know.” frowned Damian in confusion. Dick grinned, “I am just not in the mood to exhibit my body tonight.”

“But you are in the mood to have it fucked.” Dick clarified, eyes twinkling.

“Yes, that is the general idea I believe.” Damian said loftily. When Dick continued to just grin at him he frowned, “What.”

“Nothing.” Dick said pressing his face against Damian’s neck, still smiling against his skin.

“You take forever.” complained Damian wiggling under him and kicking off his jeans. Before he could reach his underwear though Dick was grabbing his wrists and  _ gawking _ at him, “You said you wouldn’t stare!”

“Oh my god.” breathed Dick reverently reaching out to touch the silk panties.

“Don’t act all- You’re the one who bought them!” Damian hissed bringing his knees up feeling a bit embarrassed and… thrilled. That  _ look _ Dick was giving him. It made his toes curl and uncurl pleasantly. 

“Holly fuck…” Dick curiously traced his soft thighs making Damian shiver, “Are you- are you using the waxing kit too?”

“Shaving, waxing is unpleasant.” Damian replied, avoiding eye contact. 

“What about that little black dress I got you?” Dick’s face was  _ definitely hungry _ now, “Have you ever…?”

“Why is that relevant?” snapped Damian. He had wore the thing in the privy of his own bedroom once or twice. In similar way to the panties the dress made him feel very attractive. He looked good in it and he  _ knew _ it, and sometimes that was a nice reminder. 

“Can I see sometime?” asked Dick eagerly.

Damian glowered and pretended he didn’t love the idea. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be fucking me with something about now?” he demanded. 

“Right.” dick squeezed his thigh slightly, “Why don’t you show me how far you’ve figured out and we’ll go from there.”

“Whatever I’ve been trying is obviously incorrect.” Damian admitted looking away, “So I’d much rather you did.”

“Have you been using lube?”

“Yes.”

“Have you been stretching yourself?”

“Of course.” scoffed Damian thinking of the uncomfortable burn whenever he tried to push something inside.

“Okay, how many fingers? And did you do it long enough?”

“....” Damian stared at him blankly.

“Oh man, well, we’ll start there.” Dick chuckled kissing his knee gently. He leaned over and grabbed some lube from the nightstand and coated first his fingers, then Damian’s.

“Why?” Damian looked between their hands frowning. 

“Go ahead and put a finger or two in for me.” Dick encouraged him sliding his panties a little bit down his thighs so they were out of the way.

“ _ Why?” _ repeated Damian glaring. He didn’t like being out of his depth, but really, researching gay sex on the internet was something giggling teenagers did and he considered himself above such things… although he was regretting a bit now. Still, he knew from experience Dick was a thorough teacher.

“Hmm,” Dick kissed his knee, not particularly bothered by his glaring… had been around Damian long enough to know the difference between the younger man being embarrassed and being genuinely angry, “For similar reasons as to why we make sure to stretch thoroughly before we go on patrol. Muscles are delicate things and when you plan to use them it is necessary to loosen them out both for more ease and flexibility but also so you don’t strain or damage them.”

“That is logical.” Damian conceded, mostly to himself with a nod, “You may proceed Grayson.”

“Oh Dami, never stop being you.” Dick grinned, mouth still pressed against his knee, eyes twinkling with mirth. Damian frowned at him, unsure if he was being teased or not, “But like I said, I want you to try and finger or two first.”

“And you’re just going to watch?” Damian wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Sure the  _ idea _ was hot, but the actual prospect sounded humiliating especially with his lack of experience. 

“No good? I wanted to get an idea for how you handle yourself.” Dick cocked his head watching him closely, before Damian could work himself up though Dick seemed to have decided on his answer and was nodding to himself, “Alright, let’s try this.”

Dick reached up and switched off the main light to the room before turning on the much smaller lamp on his bedside table. The whole effect made the edges of everything softer and less imposing. Then he nudged at Damian until he complied in wiggling under the covers with him. Damian rather expected Dick to get right back in between his legs, but instead he curled up comfortably next to him.

“What are you doing?” frowned Damian uncertainly. He could privately admit that it was nice like this. Under the covers Dick could only see his face and Damian didn’t have to worry about being embarrassed. And with his shirt still on Dick’s proximity felt… comfortable. He felt very comfortable. He hadn’t expected that: he’d assumed that their coupling would be charged with lust and frantic hunger. But somehow, he liked this better.

“C’mere little d.” Dick smiled wrapping an arm around him like they had done thousands of times before. Safe and familiar, but also… Dick kissed him leisurely. It was closed mouthed, gentle, and yet so very intimate that Damian felt like his bones were surely melting into goop. 

“I thought you were going to teach me to use that toy?” murmured Damian though he couldn’t muster up the energy to be annoyed.

“We’ll get there.” Dick didn’t seem to be in a hurry. Damian’s brain though he should be, they’d waited forever to be together after all, but the rest of him liked this easy pace. 

“We’re going to ruin your blankets if we do anything like this.” Damian pointed out.

“They can be replaced.” shrugged Dick. And while that was true, they were hardly poor by any defintion, it still seemed-

Damian let his eyes droop closed with a barely audible sigh of contentment as Dick moved to suck lightly at a spot behind his ear. Unconsciously he snuggled a little closer and Dick rubbed soothing circles into his thighs till his touch seemed as natural as his own. So it seemed just as natural to let the tension bleed from his legs and let them fall slightly open. 

“Alright if I touch you down there little prince?” Dick breathed into his skin, calm and casual and utterly undemanding. An open request that Damian could turn down. He barely realized Dick would probably enjoy cuddling all night with him almost as much as do anything sexual.

“I asked you to, didn’t I?” Damian huffed twisting his head to get his mouth on the other again.  Damian let his eyes droop closed with a barely audible sigh of contentment as Dick moved to suck lightly at a spot behind his ear. Unconsciously he snuggled a little closer and Dick rubbed soothing circles into his thighs till his touch seemed as natural as his own. So it seemed just as natural to let the tension bleed from his legs and let them fall slightly open.

“Alright if I touch you down there little prince?” Dick breathed into his skin, calm and casual and utterly undemanding. An open request that Damian could turn down. He barely realized Dick would probably enjoy cuddling all night with him almost as much as do anything sexual.

“I asked you to, didn’t I?” Damian huffed twisting his head to get his mouth on the other again.

“Always time to change your mind.” Hummed Dick rummaging in his drawer blindly for a bit without stopping kissing Damian. There was a clink of a bottle as Dick coated his hand again.

“That…” Damian pulled away to sniff as a new, sweet, scent hit the air, “you weren’t using that before.”

“Nah, it’s natural oil so it’s nicer to have on your skin, though when we get around to that toy we’ll use the lubricant since it lasts longer and we won’t have to reapply.” Dick told him, meanwhile he started rubbing the oil into the skin of Damian’s thighs again after which he slowly moved upwards to knead at his ass. Damian felt himself slowly getting aroused, but it was strange unhurried thing unlike what he was used to.

Damian stopped kissing Dick to lightly tuck himself under the elder’s chin and let his eyes fall half lidded as he focused on feel of Dick’s skilled hands. He let out a soft content sound as Dick rubbed at the top of his crack and a little in, and then a way, while his other hand wiggled it’s way under him to reach around and start massaging relaxing circles into his lower back.

“That feel good?” Dick asked, tilting his head to press a kiss into Damian’s hair.

“Tt, you know it does.” Grumbled Damian, he opened his eyes slightly and realized that at some point his hands had raised to come to rest on Dick’s chest and were curled loosely into his shirt.

When Dick did finally dip down far enough between his cheeks to rub gently at his hole, it didn’t feel at all like Damian was expecting. When he touched himself, it was always a little bit like an electric shock at the first touch. This felt warm and natural and as grounding as a comforting hand on the shoulder. And when Dick teased just inside with the tip of his thumb it felt… it felt…

Damian let his head tip back loosely and his lips part ever so slightly.

“So perfect…” Dick breathed with reverence. Damian could feel that Dick was rock hard against him. It was a little thrilling because Damian hadn’t even done anything to him. Just from watching, just from touching  _ Damian, _ Dick was-

“Oh.” Huffed Damian in slight surprise as Dick slipped a finger inside him to the knuckle without any resistance. It was never like that, even with something small, there was always a burn. Not this time apparently.

“How’s that feel?” Dick asked.

“Like you should really pick up the pace.” Huffed Damian.

“Patience is a virtue Dami.”

“You have your finger in my ass and yet you have decided to lecture me about virtues? Gotham’s education system is clearly bizarre.” Damian gave the other a look. Dick laughed, light hearted, happy, and free in a way Damian hadn’t heard in long time. He wanted to kiss it off his lips. See if maybe happiness had a flavor.

“You want another? Already?” teased Dick stroking his back leisurely while his second finger teased his rim next the first. Damian hesitated: It didn’t really feel like a second finger could fit beside the first and now that he knew that it didn’t have to hurt he was wary of anything that might bring back the burn.

“Maybe a little longer.” He conceded, though he did hesitantly push back at the finger with his hips, flexed, just to see the way each felt. Damian shivered slightly when Dick stroked lightly at his insides while he pumped his finger in and out.

“Never thought I’d get to hold you like this.” Dick admitted.

_ ‘I didn’t ever think you’d want to hold me like this.’ _ Damian retorted in his head. The words didn’t make it past his throat though. Too cheesy in a moment that was already held more feelings than he was particularly sure about. Dick kept murmuring sweet and filthy things in his ear till Damian felt his breathing becoming much more labored with arousal and Dick was gently pressing two fingers inside.

“That’s-“ Damian started uncertainly, his fingers clenching in Dick’s shirt.

“Here,” Dick slid his thigh forward and helped Damian start a slow but firm grind against him which was… distracting to say the least.

Before Damian could lose his nerve he let go of Dick’s shirt with one hand and reached to cup the other through his pants. The stuttered breath Dick let out made something coy and pleased uncurl in Damian chest, so he gave a little squeeze which earned him a shiver.

“You don’t need to- I’ll be fine Dami, this is about you tonight-“ Dick started to try and tell him.

“Unless you don’t want me to, which it doesn’t seem to be the case, then I’ll do what I please.” Damian bit the other’s lower lip testily, and none too gently either, “And unless you put that toy in me soon I am going to take matters into my own hands, Grayson.”

“You’re so bossy, little prince.” Dick laughed, but he got even harder against Damian’s palm so he didn’t think he had any objections, “You sure you don’t want me to play with you prostate a little bit first? I bet I could make you cum.”

“I am perfectly aware of your skills, but I believe I told you I wanted you to fuck me with a toy not your fingers tonight.” Damian pushed back. He wondered how much bossing around Dick would enjoy. He certainly seemed to like it now. And Damian liked the feel of Dick following his orders. Though part of him wondered, if Dick stuck around, if Damian could sometime push hard enough to get Dick to  _ make _ him give up control. Damian kind of wished Dick would just  _ know _ and do it without him asking, but he also knew that that was never going to happen. Dick might figure it out, but he’d make Damian ask for it, of that he was certain.

“Well then…” Dick’s eyes suddenly glinted mischievously and then Damian was letting out a huff of surprise as fingers were pulled out and he was suddenly being rolled on his back. He heard the snap of the original lubricant opening and closing and then Dick was right there in between his legs sliding the slick tip of the toy over his cock and balls, “Let me know if you change your mind.”

“Oh.” Damian huffed out in surprise as the toy slid in. Not because he didn’t know it was coming but because… he didn’t think it’d feel like  _ that _ . He felt stretched but  _ good. _ In fact, he almost wished the toy was a little bigger, wanted to know what it’d be like to be stuffed full.

“That’s it…” Dick encouraged him, which Damian would have snapped at him about but Dick was looking at him with such a captivated expression as he slowly drew the dildo in and out of him, “You’re so perfect Dami, you have no idea.”

“Keep going.” Damian said, a little breathlessly even as he reached with a hand that was slightly shaking into Dick’s pants. Dick moaned, but did as he was told. Soon he’d found Damian’s prostate and it was the younger man’s turn to start gasping out streams of curses and praises in Arabic. Dick gave a slight strangled sound of arousal when a particularly well aimed twist of the wrist had Damian arching against him with a wordless sound.

“Fuck, yeah, like that little prince.” panted Dick thrusting up into Damian’s fumbling hand even as he quicked the pace of the toy inside. Every touch, every breath, every sound, everywhere he looked Dick surrounded him. It felt so good, that more than all the wonderful sensations he was giving him.

“Richard…” Damian choked out, was surprised when Dick jerked and came almost instantly at his name even though Daian hadn’t thought he was that close. He would have thought more of it except suddenly Dick was devouring Damian’s mouth with fervent intent and his hands were working magic over his cock and ass till the younger was practically sobbing as his orgasm crashed over him like a frieght train.

They lay against each other until Dick started giggling to himself with a slightly hysterical edge.

“...Do orgasms usually make you lose your sanity?” Damian asked in alarm.

“Ha ha, babybat. This is just… you, me, what the hell are we even-? I just fucked you with your birthday present and you just made me cum in my pants like a teenager…” Dick rolled to the side and continued to laugh.

“Well your powers of observation are still intact, if nothing else.” grumbled Damian wiggling until he could pull out the toy. He’d have to properly try it on his own now that he had a better idea how. Though honestly, if Dick didn’t get cold feet he was rather hoping that the next thing that he could have inside him was his cock, “You got my clothes filthy.”

“It's what happens when you want to wear them during sex.” Dick said rather unapologetically still chuckling to himself as he started to get up and pull off his own soiled clothing.

“Lend me some clothes to sleep in.” Damian grimaced pulling off his cum soaked shirt and tossing it into Dick’s laundry pile.

“You sure you don’t want to cuddle like this?” Dick asked innocently.

“Grayson.”

“Alright, alright.” Grayson raise his hand in defeat before grinning, “Though I seem to recall a perfectly good pair of panties somewhere around your ankle…”

“Get me some clothes.” Damian said flatly. It’s not like he hadn’t been planning on wearing the panties the rest of the night anyways to try and instigate a round two from the other but he wasn’t going to  _ admit _ that.

“Here you go.” Dick threw a long T-shirt over to him, “your pants should still be fine, though you might not want to sleep in them.”

“No. Now come back to bed.” Damian wiggled into them before looking expectantly at the other as he hitched a clean pair of yoga pants onto his hips. It looked sinful, Damian decided as he licked his lips slightly.

“Your wish is my command.” Dick said teasingly climbing back into the covers and pulling him close.

“As a forewarning,” Damian said as he idly traced the light scars on Dick’s chest with the tip of his finer, “If you run this time, I will murder you. Regardless of father’s rules.”

“I promise not to run without saying something.” Dick said kissing him.

“Small comforts.” snorted Damian though he leaned into the touch.

“I don’t ever want to leave this bed.” Admitted Dick.

_ Me either,  _ thought Damian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dick probably wouldn’t be over all his hang-ups in one conversation. But he is the type to get totally caught up in taking care of his partner that he forgets about such things.
> 
> On a side sex-health note, natural oils are good because they’re a lot cheaper and easier to get a hold of at any grocery store and because they’re organic they’re less likely to cause agitation (unless you have a specific allergy) and they don’t require extra cleanup because they naturally will break down. Although I hear they’re killer on the sheets. And if you’re a lady or have a vagina be careful because some types of oils will compromise condoms.

**Author's Note:**

> Come bother me on [Tumblr! ](https://wellthatjusthappend.tumblr.com/)


End file.
